Shadow said You Hurt Me, I died

I leaned on the hard brick behind me, imagining, it is Matt's warm broad chest. In the distance, I heard a loud thump and shout. A drunken man appears to make a ruckus up there. I inched closer to the corner of the damp cell, hugging my knee close to my chest and Matt Sullivan appears in front of me again, smiling and laughing and we were dancing on the floor, surrounding by our family on our wedding day. My white gown twirled gracefully around me, we were doing a waltz before the song changed abruptly to sweet slow jazz. He then held me close like I’m the only person matters in the world and his eyes softly piercing mine.

I laughed. “Whoa, you must really love me!”

He chuckled. “I thought you already know that!” The chuckled died when he hugged me closer. ‘Don’t leave me Amber, I love you so so much’

We dated for 6 months before he proposed. He said the time we know each other doesn’t matter, it’s already enough for him to know that he couldn’t live without me, the thoughts that not making me his, drives his crazy. I believe that when he stood in front of my house the whole night, not wanting to wake me up, but also miss me too much to go back to his house.

It doesn’t take me long to fall in love with Matt Sullivan, I even suspect he already have my heart in his palm the day we sat for hours in the small coffee shop. I was deprived of love since my parents divorced. They drifted away, finding their own self all over again, after so long been defined as a couple. I understand, really. It must be hard for them. But I couldn’t help but despised their selfishness, for forgetting about me along the process. I also then drifted like an empty shell, going through routine of a child and then an awkward dorky teenager. Always secluded, living my life by myself.

It was when I’m out of Rockhampton , I discovered myself, that I am too like others capable of laugh and joy. The once empty shell is now filled with excitement sourced from my work. The thrill that came with the work as journalist provides me with an escapism that I’ve been longing for. As everyone seems to think that having a boyfriend is necessary, I also dated. My very first boyfriend was a photographer from my office, Paul. I like him too much to turn him down. We went out for a while, but we broke up because he said I love you and I’m only able to come up with thank you.

Matt was different, when he said I love you, my heart swelled up I thought it will burst with joy. It was a summer day when he proposed. We were sitting side by side at park on a green grass. Me with my book, he well with nothing. He just sat there, accompany me. Suddenly, he pushed strand of my hairs to back of my ear and said,

“Amber, I want to grow old with you”

I noticed changes of his tone and my face flushed with anticipation. I put up my defense by laughing.

“Grow old all you want, I’m determined to keep my youth”

He chuckled.

“Marry me” he said, slipping a pear cut diamond ring to my fingers.

“Doesn’t it suppose that you have to wait till the part where I say yes before you put it on?”

“You’ll say yes won’t you?”

My eyes sparkled with joy.